in charge

Remember when you would go on vacation with your family and your mom would be overly enthusiastic about everything, making you want to visit the third historic graveyard of the trip even less? No? Maybe that was just our family then.

Remember when you had 8 people in your family scrunched in a hotel room meant for 4 with one lonely bathroom, making the shower schedule in the morning insane? Which meant you had to get up at the butt-crack of dawn so you wouldn't look like a grease ball, in order to visit yet another museum?

Or what about that time your family thought it was frivolous to rent a car to get from Plymouth Rock to the outdoor indigenous museum like 3 miles away, so you walked the whole way (still with your not-so-subtle family of 8) in intense heat? And don't forget about how you complained so much that your parents called a (yes, a as in one) cab for your entire family of 8 for the way back, so you all piled into the back seat as though it were Mary Poppin's purse. But that's fine. At least you didn't have to walk.

the "death walk" from plymouth to the museum. Sorry, ladies, I had to.

And who could forget the time Mom woke everyone up at 5:30 so you could get to early entry at the Magic Kingdom or Epcot or whatever, so you could ride Rockin' Roller coaster one more time?

Rockin' Roller Coaster, 7 am

I think everyone can relate with some ridiculous family vacation stories, because as kids (teenagers, really), there is nothing lamer than being seen with your parents. At 8 a.m. At a museum. With 5 siblings.

So would someone please tell me when I stopped being the complaining kid (grumble grumble, I can't believe Mom's making us do this, gripe complain, go back to texting my friends about how lame family vacation is) and became *gasp* my mom?

I have had plenty of experience traveling with friends and groups. I have even had a little bit of experience chaperoning a high school trip to Colorado, but it was with my best friend. And I was still a college student. Now here I am, overseeing 5 kids in a foreign country by myself. And I discovered a little something that may come as a shock to you:

teenagers have attitudes. 

True story. This specimen of human beings is a mystery to the rest of us, although we were at one point a part of this group. It is difficult, if not impossible, to predict what will make them crabby, what will excite them, and what will make them dissolve into tears. 

Just when I think we're about to do an activity that will change their outlook on life forever, they cross their arms, get a bored look on their face, and mumble something about it not being that amazing. While I may be grinning like a fool, in disbelief of the awesome life I'm living, I look over to find them grouchy and in need of a nap.

For awhile this really bothered me. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong to make their trip that forgettable. Did I plan boring activities? Am I already that out of touch with what teenagers like?

But after venting to my mother, she gave me 3 simple words that made me see the situation a little more clearly:

welcome to motherhood

I get it now, Mom. I understand the over-the-top optimism and cheerfulness. I get why you dragged us to every historical site. I know now why it was so important for you to experience everything a place had to offer. You wanted us to look back and realize what cool opportunities we had, and not regret missing out on something. You were trying to make the trip memorable, nay, unforgettable for us.

Which also reminds me that I was once that teenager, rolling my eyes and sighing. Pretending to not care about something that I may truly have been excited about. So maybe my students really are having a good time...it's just not cool to show it.

Whew. It's emotionally exhausting to be a leader. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for putting up with 6 teenage (or preteen...possibly worse) girls at once. We really do have great memories of our family vacations...I swear!

What is your most embarrassing family vacation memory?

Pura Vida, and keep dreaming, dreamers.

friends become enemies, enemies become friends

Anyone who watches Family Guy knows that's a quote from the episode where Stewie taunts Brian about that novel he's been workin' on.

This post is actually not about a novel, and I didn't become enemies with any of my friends. I did however, become friends with one of my "enemies."

Let's call her Lucy. She was one of the students in the first grade class where I was substitute teaching.  There is always without fail, one student who comes up to me before class starts and says, "Is you our guest teacher?" There's one in every class, and in this class it was Lucy. And just like that, my preconceived notion of Lucy was born.

She didn't fail to meet every one of the expectations I had dreamed up about her. She was loud. She was bossy. She fought with other students. And my biggest pet peeve as a sub, she was that student who was in no way shy about telling me exactly how their teacher normally runs the class. (At which point I silence the students, wave the piece of paper in my hand, and say, "Your teacher left me great notes about how to do my job. I think I'll stick with those.") I knew I would have my hands full with Lucy that day.

As much as teachers don't like to admit this, we are human. We form judgments about students. (Especially as a sub...you have about 10 minutes to "get to know" the kids before you start teaching them!) We mentally embrace those easygoing, rule-abiding, high-achieving students, and mentally cringe at the students who we find swinging from a proverbial chandelier the moment we turn our backs. Like I said, we're only human.

Back to Lucy and her first grade class. I had succeeded in using my Love and Logic language on the students that morning. "I listen to students who raise their hands." "We'll start when everyone is quiet, with a calm body and hands in their lap." "It really makes me sad for you that I might have to take away a minute of recess. I hope we can find a way to fix that." The students were responding fairly well, but they were a chatty group, and I was relieved when lunch time rolled around.

The students struggled to form a quiet, straight line to go to lunch, and there was plenty of "budging" going on. My policy is: "Send the Budgers to the back of the line!" Guess who happened to be one of the budgers? That's right. Lucy.

"Sorry, Lucy. You know the rule. What happens when we budge in line?"

"You go to the back."

"That's right. You'll have to go to the end of the line. Bummer."

I expected Lucy to stomp her feet all the way to the back with narrowed eyes and arms folded across her chest. What she did next, I could have never predicted.

Lucy threw her head back, and screamed bloody murder. Then she screamed again. And again. And again.

For a moment, I froze. I couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry, or yell at her. Then, thankfully, common sense and teacher mode kicked in. I calmly told the line leader to start walking toward the cafeteria. Best to take the other students out of the picture. I knew the only way to get Lucy calm would be by remaining calm myself. So I waited for her to run out of breath, and jumped in as soon as I had a second of silence.

"Lucy I know that was very upsetting, but remember that screaming and crying are not going to solve the problem. Please use your words."

No response. More screaming.

I tried a different tactic, "Lucy, if you don't stop crying you're going to have to eat lunch with me instead of with your friends. That would really be a bummer." After all, who wants to eat with the teacher?

Her ears perked up. The screaming turned into a soft whimper and a shaky breath. She took my hand as I helped her off the ground, and we walked to the cafeteria where the rest of the class was waiting in line for hot lunch.

I made sure to thank her for making a good decision: "Lucy, that was a great decision. Now you can stay in the cafeteria for lunch and join your friends!" I veritably skipped back to the classroom, dug into my lunch bag, and sighed with contentment.

Then the door creaked open. Expecting one of the other first grade teachers coming to check in on me, I pasted a confident, professional smile on my face. Instead, I saw Lucy balancing her tray in one hand as she pushed open the door with the other. She was grinning from ear to ear, excited, excited, about eating with the teacher. My heart sank. The peaceful lunch I had dreamed of was slowly slipping away.

Wanting to avoid another scene, I tread carefully the uncharted territory I was about to embark upon.

"Lucy! Hi! I'll walk you back down to the cafeteria where you can eat with your friends."

"But you said I could eat with you!" Oh, how my intentions had been misunderstood. That was supposed to be a punishment!

"Remember that since you made the right decision, Lucy, you can eat in the cafeteria with the other kids. Let's go!" I herded her out the door and down the stairs. She reluctantly followed behind, but I could tell she was ready to blow at any moment.

Then it happened: "But I want to eat with you-ou-ou!" She gasped in between sobs. I did not have the energy for this. As I was on the verge of losing my patience, a teacher's assistant thankfully heard the ruckus, and rushed over to help. She steered L to the caf, and instructed me to go take my lunch break. #relief

At recess, Lucy walked over and joined me on a bench. 'Perfect opportunity to make a connection,' I thought.

"So, Lucy, are you doing better?"

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me about why you were so upset at lunch?"

"I guess I was just stressed about my mom and dad."

Understanding was beginning to dawn upon my judgmental mind. "And why were you stressed about that?"

"I just don't know when my dad will get out of jail." Lucy avoided eye contact.

Feeling terrible about myself, I prompted her, "So you're living with just Mom?"

"No. My mom's in rehab. I'm living with my gramma." She fiddled with her name tag.

At this point I wanted to kick myself. "Grandma takes good care of you, though, right?"

Lucy nodded. "She takes care of me and my sister - she's one years old."

"That must be really tough, Lucy." What else do you say when using God's Word is not an option?

We decided together to make the afternoon better.

I couldn't believe how we shared a connection the rest of the day. Whenever I could tell she was starting to get rambunctious, I made eye contact with her and smiled. She would smile back, and the situation would be immediately smoothed over. At the end of the day, we even hugged before I left.

So what's the point?

1. Love and Logic really works. When your students know you really care about them and have their best interest in mind, they want to behave for you. The problem with substitute teaching, is that you don't have the opportunity to form that relationship and trust. 
2. I am so grateful and in awe of those public school teachers. The work they do with large classes and challenging students, among other issues, is incredible. 
3. I am grateful that I will have the opportunity to use God's Word in the job I have next year. It's really hard to avoid talking about your Savior when a student has a difficult situation. Every child I teach is a blood-bought child of God. If he loves them, they are also worthy of my love and kindness.
4. A great reminder to "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle." (not sure who originally said this. Some say Plato, some say John Watson.) Christ showed this kindness to me first, even when I was still dead in sin. 

Make someone's day through your kind words or actions. Especially the most ornery, angry, or mean person you can find. 

Keep dreaming, dreamers.

presentations

There are some days when I absolutely, 100%, without a doubt love being a teacher. Sure, there are days when I think of the glamour another profession might bring, and there are other days when I think of how nice it would be to be surrounded by other adults. But most days, I am so thankful that I know I picked the right career.

Today was one of those days.

Let me preface by saying that the month of May has been kind of a slump. I'm almost done with the part-time jobs I currently have, and in July I look forward to starting my dream job - teaching Spanish and German full time in a Lutheran school, and coaching freshman volleyball. I can't wait to really feel like part of the faculty. To have my own classroom. Looking to the future, and not being present in my current jobs can sometimes put me in a bad mood. I don't prepare for class as much as I should. I don't push myself to be creative. I'm not the best teacher I can be.

BUT, today I think I accomplished one of my life list goals as a teacher.

For the past month or so, we have been focusing on travel vocabulary, and my students' final project is to plan a trip to a Spanish speaking country with a budget of $2500. I wanted this project to give them a sense of what planning a trip would be like in real life with a real budget. They had to find a flight, find places to stay, pick 3 destinations to visit within their country of choice, and include tips for travelers, cultural differences, typical food of that region, and 10 need-to-know Spanish phrases.

Today was the start of their presentations. Before class, one of my students who tends to be a bit negative passed me in the hallway.

"Mrs. Krause, your project is going to drain my bank account," he complained.

"What!?!" I was confused, and feeling a bit defensive at his remark. To understand my defensiveness, you need to know that these students are seniors, just completed their huge senior thesis, and are overloaded with end-of-the-year projects, papers, and presentations. As a 3-day-a-week class, Spanish is often put on the back burner. I have been a bit on edge lately about my students not getting their work done.

Turns out, though, that this was a compliment in disguise:

"Yeah," he continued, "after doing this project, all I want to do is travel. I really want to go on the trip I planned, and I can't afford it!"

Sha-zam! Teachered!

#103 on my life list = Inspire a student to travel

After all, it was a teacher who opened my eyes to the world of travel. It's the least I can do to "pay it forward."

(And FYI, their presentations were awesome!)

On a completely unrelated note...it finally feels like spring! I am loving my afternoon drives home from work. Windows down, country music blasting on the radio, shades on, and singing my lungs out. I'm kind of a spectacle.

Keep dreaming, dreamers.

 

What is your dream job?

What inspires you to travel?

sunshine on a cloudy day

Part of the process of attaining my life goals involves making some dinero. I can't pay off my student loans, or save money for a car, or even plant a garden without a little extra money. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the only reason I am still substitute teaching. (I teach part time, sub part time).

So every Tuesday and Thursday, I begrudgingly wake up and get ready to go with an awful pit in my stomach. I sit through traffic (which I normally wouldn't mind) to get to a location I don't want to reach. I fight for parking in the often-miniature parking lots. (I even got a ticket once because the lot was filled and double parked, so I had to park on the street during a snow emergency). As a normally chipper and positive person, it bothers me to be so negative. But that's what substitute teaching does... it eats your soul.

Part of the reason I chose teaching as a career was because I love forming a bond and connecting with kids. Even when those "kids" are only 5 years younger than me. As a substitute, I rarely get that opportunity, either because I'm too busy chasing or admonishing the unruly students, or because I don't see them for long enough.

I had a bright moment of sunshine "guest teaching" today. The high school math teacher I subbed for had worksheets for the students to do, which left them with a veritable study hall, especially once they finished their sheets. You can only walk around the room so many times peering over their shoulders, so I parked myself at the front of the room, took a seat, and made lists of things to do, or read my current book (The Last of the Mohicans - James Fennimore Cooper) if the students were especially diligent. To be honest, it was a pretty easy day, albeit super boring.

This is where the moment of sunshine comes in. During the last class of the day, 2 of the students sitting in the front row struck up a conversation with me.
"Substitute teaching must be really boring." observed one of the girls.
"It can be. That's why I'm glad I only do it part time." And from there, our conversation flourished to include topics such as: where they were from (both of Hispanic origin), bilingual homes, working at McDonalds, little siblings, and speaking Spanish when you think other people won't understand, but it turns out they also speak Spanish.

This brief conversation in the midst of a mind-numbing day reminded me why I love teaching so much. It is the prospect of making a difference in a student's life, along with watching them grow and mature as a person, and, oh yeah, guiding them to learn. *Note: this does not mean I like substitute teaching.

I am glad Tuesday is over. Looking forward to Easter weekend with my sisters!

How do you find sunshine on a bad day?